Mother-Daughter


Hidden loyalties, procrastination.

Hidden loyalties, procrastination. Everyone has hidden loyalties. This is such an important topic! I will share a little bit, and explain much more, in the upcoming workshop and video that will be posted on FB and YouTube. We all have loyalties to our belief-systems, family members, siblings, ethnicities, nations, grandparents, to the suffering of our ancestors, or to groups of people we may be unaware of. Loyalty, in and of itself, is an extremely important trait in relationships, but as family constellations reveals, it is often connected to self-sabotage. It starts with our loyalty to the ones who gave us life.


The Emperor’s New Drugs: Antidepressants

Antridepressants, depression There are many ways to raise your vibration including: thinking positive and uplifting thoughts. What about antidepressants? As a child did you listen to, or read, the story about the Emperor’s New Clothes? Fascinating, wasn’t it? Well, I found a courageous book entitled: The Emperor’s New Drugs, exploding the Antidepressant Myth. Many of you know and believe in the power of the mind and positive thinking. Also, many of you know  that depressions can be part of Epigenetics, “inherited family traumas” as is so frequently evidenced in the systemic family constellation work. Click on title to read entire post.In one session the depression can be released, often forever. That means that conscious -and subconscious levels entangle and intertwine. You can try to be positive till you become blue in the face yet still carry, deep down inside, a sense of depressive feelings. Here’s what Irving Kirsch, PhD-psychologist, who for years had been referring his patients to psychiatrists for drugs, antidepressants,  wrote in his above mentioned book: “The conventional view of depression is that it is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. The basis for that idea was the belief that antidepressant drugs were effective treatments. Our Read More


When you should NEVER take the cell phone from your child

Respectful, authentic relationships. When you should NEVER take the cellphone from your child. It’s very upsetting, right, when your child/teen doesn’t speak respectfully to you and continues to do so after you expressed your disconcert/disagreement.  As a response to unwanted behavior and feeling powerless and angry you probably have learned to take the phone away, saying: “If you cannot treat me with respect, you cannot have your phone. When you change your behavior and treat me with respect, you might get it back.”  Guess what, a few hours later the behavior changed. You got what you wanted, more polite behavior. Polite yes, but that is NOT the same as intrinsic felt respect.  The love for the cellphone made him choose different behavior, not the love for you. The opposite is true: instead of feeling genuinely respected you alienate more from each other. If your child treats you politely out of fear for what can happen, that is hopefully not the relationship you want. If your partner is angry, and doesn’t talk to you in the way you like, do you take his cellphone away? No. How do you respond then? If there is behavior from children what we interpret as Read More


Choose your words wisely

Every day still millions of children are verbally and psychologically mistreated, as has been going on for centuries. Yes, the  most widely recognized forms of abuse are physical and sexual, however at the core of all abuse is emotional abuse. When adults do not heal their own wounds a vicious circle takes place. Traumatic experiences of past generations can still reverberate to future generations. The attacks on a child’s emotional well-being and sense of self-worth are often done unconsciously. The power, impact, and consequences of the use of words has been highly under-estimated. Though, not everybody realizes that. Fear for “what if…” blocks the empathic and compassionate development and much more. We could simply realize that many are not really happy with them selves or in their relationships.


Trust

Trust is one strong component for..   ….  healthy-functioning relationships. You might agree with that, but do you also know HOW to create (more) trust in your world or in yourself, especially when you don’t think that trust is highly present in your life?      It could be that as a child you overheard your parents saying to someone else, “I don’t trust that kid at all!” “You can never trust them!”  Or you may have heard some similar expression.   Your subconscious collects all data in your life and determines much of your motivation and behavior. Usually, the negative statements you heard about yourself became part of your identity, and ironically, you most likely are proving its truth in your life. It is a terrible feeling when people don’t trust you for no apparent reason, or when you feel untrustworthy or distrustful.     Our daily conscious thoughts influence our well being and the way we deal with our lives. If we want to intentionally create more trust in our lives, the first step is to question and identify the fear behind the thoughts we tend to have….”Why do I think that, and who says that it is true?” Maybe your world view is pessimistically colored, and you consider your views as realistic…without realizing that ‘realistic’ is a personal, subjective description that is perceived differently by everyone…You may worry that Read More