HeartBased Parenting


Choose your words wisely

Every day still millions of children are verbally and psychologically mistreated, as has been going on for centuries. Yes, the  most widely recognized forms of abuse are physical and sexual, however at the core of all abuse is emotional abuse. When adults do not heal their own wounds a vicious circle takes place. Traumatic experiences of past generations can still reverberate to future generations. The attacks on a child’s emotional well-being and sense of self-worth are often done unconsciously. The power, impact, and consequences of the use of words has been highly under-estimated. Though, not everybody realizes that. Fear for “what if…” blocks the empathic and compassionate development and much more. We could simply realize that many are not really happy with them selves or in their relationships.


Fear of what if…

Conscious Heartbased Parenting Our family experiences and burdens determine our lives today. Clinical psychology science shows that traumas are stored in the      limbic brain for about three to seven generations.  How many people do you know who really thrive, feel successful and live in a harmonious family? Often it is just about surviving in life. The baggage we carry we cannot get rid of easily either. YOU want to make changes, but how? Many people raise their children based on fear, the fear of: “What if…” But we cannot control what will happen. We cannot control others without their compliance either.


No label for divorce please

Eight years ago I divorced without a lawyer. To ease the difficulties I used energy psychology tools which really helped the situation. Because there were 3 children involved, there was a mandatory 3 hour mediation session. A very nice and capable woman, also psychologist, showed up and we all were pleased how the session went. A little while ago I bumped into her at a party and I said: “You know, everything turned out so well, my ex and I have a very cordial relationship  and the children are doing great and do not have any significant emotional scars or issues as result from the divorce whatsoever.”  She paused, and looked deep into my eyes and said “Carla, they ALWAYS get scarred by divorce”. I answered “No , that is called LIFE!” Difficult life experiences  are opportunities for growth and  learning  that enrich and strengthen us. These experiences shape us to be better people. We can choose to heal that victim feeling.  The tendency to label every issue as a disorder or disease bothers me. The DSM V (Diagnostic Statistic Manual)  is thicker than ever. I totally don’t deny there are many real mental diseases, of course there are.  However, identifying everything with labels free Read More


Do you worry?

Epigenetics Are you willing to stop worrying about what the world wants from you and willing to make it your job and your life purpose to fully live, love and feel every precious moment of your life? (Not easy, right?) Did you ever realize that “worrying” is a HABIT, most often inherited from your family? Imagine, your ancestors might have experienced extreme violence, even for centuries. Then they moved to the USA to be free. Today your family lives in a relatively safe situation. But the habit of worrying can still exist. Even if there’s nothing to worry about. Do you realize that by living in  FEAR  your stamina gets low, your immune system is negatively effected and your serotonin productivity is inhibited?  If you are one of those “worriers”, here are some tips. Challenge yourself with questions. “Is it really necessary to worry about this?” “What am I achieving by doing so?” “How would I feel if I would let go of all those thoughts that don’t serve me but stress me out?” Rebuild TRUST. In our science based way of thinking, TRUST is a vague energy that we cannot “prove”. Only with metaphysical concepts can this be understood. Read More